i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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