Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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