Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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