I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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