Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize