Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
