Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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