vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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