I heard we made out
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
