He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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