Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
