I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
