i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
