I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
