Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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