I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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