I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
