please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
