Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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