i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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