Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
