Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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