hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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