Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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