She said her name was "party"
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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