Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
