Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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