these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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