i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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