Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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