that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
