I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
