This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
