ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
