just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
