i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
