wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Please don't give away my fajitas
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
