She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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