I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
