ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
