im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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