...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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