the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
