She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
