I met the friendliest cop last night
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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