I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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