But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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