Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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