So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cockslap morals
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Buhtt sex?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize