Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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