Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
