i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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