Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
