Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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