I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
