Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
