"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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