but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
