I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize