I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
