just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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