Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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